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I explained the study to my university acquaintance. A heterosexual man and woman enter the lab through separate doors.

They plezse face to face and answer a series of increasingly personal questions. The most tantalizing detail: Six months later, two participants were married. They invited the entire lab to the ceremony.

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Let me acknowledge the ways our experiment already fails to line up with the study. First, we were in a bar, not a lab.

I Googled Dr. We spent the next two hours passing my iPhone across the table, alternately posing each question. In what way? To someone else? I grinned and gulped my beer as he listed two more commonalities I then promptly forgot.

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We explained our relationships with our mothers. I liked learning about myself through my answers, but I liked learning things about him even.

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The bar, which was empty when we arrived, had filled up by the time we paused for a bathroom break. I sat alone at our table, aware of my surroundings for the first time in an hour, and wondered if anyone had been listening to our conversation. Looking to please w all have a narrative of ourselves that we offer up to strangers and acquaintances, but Dr.

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But rarely does adult life present us with such circumstances. The moments I found most uncomfortable were not when I had to make confessions about myself, but had to venture opinions about my partner. Much of Dr. In particular, several studies investigate the ways we incorporate others into our sense of self.

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We finished at midnight, taking far longer than the 90 minutes for the original study. Looking around the bar, I tp as if I had just woken up.

The night was warm and I was wide-awake. We walked to the highest point, then turned to face each.

I fumbled with my phone as I set the timer. We invited college students nationwide to open their hearts and laptops and write an essay that tells the truth about what love is like for them Looking to please w.

I spent the first couple of minutes Lloking trying to breathe properly.

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